Thursday, April 28, 2011

Holy Crap! Now Rand Paul Wants to See Donald Trump’s Certificate!

According to New York Magazine, while Donald Trump was somehow willing himself to shake the greasy, germ-infested hands of New Hampshire diners yesterday, Kentucky senator Rand Paul was also in the state, and he had some cutting jokes about the man who, by the way, remarked in February that "Ron Paul cannot get elected, I'm sorry":
“I’ve come to New Hampshire today because I’m very concerned,” Mr. Paul said. “I want to see the original long-form certificate of Donald Trump’s Republican registration.”

As a bit of laughter erupted in the room, he added: “Seriously, don’t you think we need to see that?” ...

“I’m going to believe it when I see his embossed seal to his Republican registration,” said Mr. Paul, a rising figure in the Republican Party who is visiting New Hampshire this week during the Congressional recess. He spoke with a smile, but his words marked one of the first times that a leading Republican has challenged Mr. Trump’s ties to the party.

Wait a second, Rand Paul, just hold on for one second. You're suggesting that Donald Trump — a man who called for George W. Bush to be impeached; who has donated thousands of dollars to Chuck Schumer, Kirsten Gillibrand, Harry Reid, John Kerry, and Rahm Emanuel; who supported universal health care and used to refer to himself as "totally pro-choice"; and who was a registered Democrat as recently as September of 2009 — might not actually be a legit Republican? You are truly the radical thinker of our time.

Citi pulls Ben Stein speech after hearing he made sexist jokes‎

The New York Observer observes that Citi has decided to cancel an upcoming keynote speech by the increasingly less lovable curmudgeon Ben Stein, Bloomberg reports, over a recent appearance where he cracked a few decades-old jokes said to come across as sexist.

Lynda Villarreal attended the event in question, a March 2 speech in Dallas, and when she learned of Mr. Stein's planned appearance at a Citibank conference fired off an email to Peter Orszag describing three of the jokes. Mr. Orszag, the former White House budget director and current Citi investment bank VP, heroically forwarded the email and the rest is history. Oh, sorry for the slightly misleading headline — Mr. Stein's representatives say he'll still be paid.

Bloomberg doesn't detail the knee slappers ("One joke was about a wealthy man, his wife and his mistress"), but you get the idea.

Goldfish racing at Wash. Bar sunk

According to USAToday, tuesday nights used to be especially popular at the Harmon Tap Room in Tacoma, Wash. --- goldfish racing. No more. After protests from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, the "cheap feeder fish" have been given the hook, replaced by a more popular bar game: beer pong, the AP informs us (channeling KIRO-FM).

How, you might wonder, do goldfish race? Put them in two, 8-foot-long plastic gutters, then have patrons use squirt guns, squirt bottles or straws to propel the unwitting contestants to the finish.

"We'd use the little 10-cent feeder fish that would normally be fed to pets," bar owner Pat Nagle told the Seattle Weekly. "It was really, really popular. But we started getting all kinds of calls and e-mails from PETA people. It got to the point where Tuesday nights I'd get 60 or 70 e-mails. We went round and round about closing it. But eventually we felt we had to…..”

Pot-Growing Lady Hedge-Funder Avoids Jail Time

Tara Bryson, the former New Stream Capital exec arrested last year after Connecticut police found 203 pot plants in her home in Newton, pleaded guilty to drug possession. The state initially intended to press for felony cultivation charges, which could have come with seven years of prison time.

Instead, Bryson was sentenced to a year of jail, which was suspended, and is slated to serve only a year of probation. Her live-in boyfriend, Michael Hearl, who also pleaded guilty, didn't get off as easy and will serve two years in jail. Hey, you don't get to the top of a hedge fund (under investigation for "charging investors excessive fees by overvaluing assets") by not knowing how to work a deal in your favor….